Hierarchy

Hierarchy is a polyamorous relationship dynamic where one relationship is prioritized over others.

This can happen for many reasons. A common one is disparate levels of entanglement

The blurring of boundaries and separation between two people.

Entanglement

. For example, John and Jill are in a long term relationship, live together, share finances, and have a child together. Jill is also in a relationship with Regan that doesn't include shared finances or childcare. Jill may need to prioritize their time and energy with John as a result, but it does not mean the relationship with Regan is less important. A dynamic like this is referred to as "situational hierarchy" or "descriptive hierarchy"

Another form of hierarchy is "prescriptive". It happens when one couple agree to prioritize each other over other partners. In a scenario like this, the other partners would be described as "secondary

A partner in a hierarchical relationship that may be given lower priority in time and attention

Secondary Partner

". This is common when an established monogamous relationship opens up for the first time and is meant to provide security as the couple explores.

It is important to discuss hierarchy with new partners. Invisible hierarchies are a common source of pain, frustration, and fear.